Dream Interpretation 10/17/18

A dream dictionary is very much like a normal dictionary.  It will offer you individual meanings of the elements therein, but the way those elements are combined can tell innumerable stories.  It is up to the dreamer to dig deeper as they piece together the prose.

Dream

I was hiding from a man who was going to kill me. I don’t know why, I just know my life depended on staying hidden. I was in a large antique/furniture store, crouched behind a couch. The man had a German Shepard with him, and this dog knew me. The dog loved me and was very happy to see me, so he went right to me. The man was preoccupied and hadn’t noticed the dog had found me yet.
The dog was greeting me, bouncing from paw to paw, making happy puppy sounds. I feared the noise would draw my killer straight to me, and the dog didn’t understand I needed him to leave me alone. I made the unfortunate choice to suffocate the dog to death to stay alive.

Interpretation

Several years ago, I had read about women in Uganda who had to suffocate their babies to avoid being found, tortured and killed. They saw this as a more merciful death for their child, because if they were found, both mother and child would be molested and mutilated. If they suffocated the crying baby, at least it would die in loving arms and the other women would survive. This was the immediate thought that crossed my mind in reference to this dream, though I have never felt such strong bonds with any dog.
Death in dreams hardly ever refers to actual death. It generally refers to a change, or closing of a chapter to open a new one. The fact that I was so fearful of this archetype that I would sacrifice one who loves and trusts me is a bit disturbing.
There are many ways to die, but this dream chose to show me a human male killer. It was someone I didn’t know, someone who was preoccupied with the business of killing others first, but the dog was definitely a connection between us. His dog loved me.
Serial killers have a different interpretation in dreams than killers with a single quarry. Serial killers suggest fear and insecurity, whereas killers signify being cut off from an emotion.
Antiques represent traditions, wisdom, and inherited personal characteristics. They were my only protection from death. That’s interesting considering the death archetype symbolizes change. I was literally hiding from change within tradition.
The most significant symbol in my dream was the German Shepard. Few dog breeds have their own special meaning, most represent intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The German Shepard’s specific symbolism is protective instinct and attentiveness to a situation. The nature of the interaction with this symbol provides deeper meaning.
Initially, the dog is very happy to see me. “To see a happily barking dog in your dream symbolizes pleasures and social activity. You are being accepted into some circle.” Since this situation will bring death (change), I try to stop it. It seems that in any other instance, I would welcome this social activity, but this time is different.
Death of a dog nearly always means the end of a friendship; interpretation just depends on the nature and extent of the death. I was ending it to avoid death (change). Since we determined that the breed had specific meaning, we can apply that protectiveness to the friend in question. There is possibly someone protecting me who I am trying to stop in order to avoid change, and I would go as far as to terminate the relationship (with my bare hands) to do so.
Let’s put everything together.
I’m hiding from change within tradition, but a protective friend within my social circle is trying hard to bring change to my life. I am so opposed to this change that I would go so far as to snuff out the friendship personally.
It’s strange, because I feel like I’m usually the person who is ready for change. I know I can be kind of a homebody, and I don’t desire travel as much anymore, because I’m uncomfortable leaving my home and cats to be tended by someone else. Perhaps that is the old way I’m railing against changing. An aspect of the dream that I didn’t have the presence of mind to change in the dream was using the dog against my killer. Surely this symbol of protection who loved me would not have allowed the killer to hurt me. I was not comfortable leaving my protection to untested loyalty, so it wasn’t even a consideration.

Final Thoughts

I have not been away from my home for more than a day in several years, because I feel uneasy specifically with leaving my cats in the care of someone else. I don’t trust that my apartment won’t spring an inspection while I’m gone, and they’ve been known to leave the door wide open while doing so. I would be absolutely devastated if anything happened to my cats while I was gone, and I don’t trust boarding them at a vet ever since I read about the cat that was euthanized by mistake while her owner was traveling. I know that I have friends and family I could trust, but I don’t want to burden them with the care of my cats.
How far am I willing to push against this change? If the choice came between trusting a friend to look out for me, or personally ending a friendship, could I set my fears aside. That’s a pretty big step for someone who needs to feel control over possibilities and outcomes.
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Nightmares

I’ve got a schedule planned for this blog to give it some structure. Tuesdays will be the scientific/research/medical entries, Wednesday will be the personal subject commentary entries, and Thursday will be a free day for cool dream related stuff I’ve found. I’ll be adding a few more pages to the blog for helpful links and terms used in the blog.

Today is a Wednesday, so it’s a personal subject day. I chose nightmares.

I don’t remember much of my dreams from early childhood, but I do remember the nightmares. They were really simple and symbolic when I was a toddler. Between the ages of 2 and 4, I remember a recurring nightmare that I called “The Eyes.” But they weren’t eyes at all. They were just two spots that sort of floated in the air and followed me around. One was small and black, the other was large and orange. They were positioned like eyes, which I suppose is why I called them that. The dreamscape was usually some sort of newsprint. Black and white buildings, black and white paper cutout people from some era I’d only seen in old photographs. Perhaps the eyes were actually cigarette burns in this paper dreamscape and that’s why they were so scary, but I really felt stalked/haunted by them.

As I got older, the nightmares would have more real fear triggers, like snakes or tornadoes. I was terrified by natural disasters in my teen years. The big movies at the time were all about tornadoes and volcanoes, and a town nearby mine had been devastated by a tornado. I kept imagining how easily one could rip my little house apart and it was a very real concern of mine for years. I also had terrible dreams about monsters and zombies at this time in my life. During the early teen years I was very religious, and I was actually baptized at 14. I was plagued by nightmares several times a week.

During my later teen years, my parents were divorced, and the nightmares weren’t so terrifying anymore. There were some awful subjects, but they didn’t scare me awake anymore. I felt like I could handle them. In one, I actually remember myself dying. That’s something many people believe you can’t witness, but I know several people who have experienced that. I was fleeing from some people who had a Predator with them. I tried to hide in an old abandoned hospital. They found me and asked me “How would you like to die?” I suggested “Old age.” “Not an option!” My next choice was to be injected with something from the hospital, which they did. I saw myself sitting on a table, the needle go into my leg, and as my body fell back, I was suddenly watching from darkness above. There was nothing. No feeling, no light, just nothingness. It wasn’t scary. It was peaceful, like this was the most natural state of existence. I thought “Okay…what now?” Then I woke up.

Other nightmares involved the deaths of people close to me, but I actually woke up crying when I had nightmares of my pets getting injured. Around this time, I wasn’t going to church anymore and my spiritual interests turned more toward witchcraft. This continued into college. Infrequent nightmares and nothing so bad I couldn’t face the problem in my dream.

After leaving a bad relationship, for nearly the entire duration of the next serious relationship, I would have nightmares that my ex was back, but I would violently attack him and often wake up frustrated that all the yelling and hurting I could inflict wouldn’t make him go away. After entering the third serious relationship, the nightmares stopped. Nightmares now only involve separation from my important people from which I will sometimes wake up crying. There are other dreams that I would call “bad dreams” with some absolutely disgusting elements, but very rarely do I have nightmares anymore. At this point, I wouldn’t say I’m devoid of spirituality. I feel a great spiritual connection to the universe, but I experience it as an extension of the sciences.

Upcoming topics for this blog: REM sleep, time-lapse video sleep study, chemicals of sleep, and lucid dreaming.